I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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