We're facebook friends in real life
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
