why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
