So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
