Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
