I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
