Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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