Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
