dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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