Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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