Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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