Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
