I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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