were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
