1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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