I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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