No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
