She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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