i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
