she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
