Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
