did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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