I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
