I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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