So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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