guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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