I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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