Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
