so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
