She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
