They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
