Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
