Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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