I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
