Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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