I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
