At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have post one night stand depression
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