Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
