so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
