just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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