We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
