I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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