That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
