I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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