fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
