glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
