i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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