Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
