There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
