An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
