Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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