It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
